Nothing ever goes as planned - Max's 3rd birthday party

Big thanks to Anna and Jonathan for making this one we will never forget.

I honestly don't know what I was thinking.  I mean, Max and I have really made some great friends this year and renewing old friendships when we needed them most earlier this year but deciding to invite 50 of our nearest and dearest to our house for his 3rd birthday may have been pure insanity (around 30 came).  Of course, I wouldn't have had it any other way as it turned out to be most memorable for Max and all his friends and lets be honest, I just love hosting.  I can't even count how many people we have told about "his horse at his birthday party" this week.  I just wish I would have gotten to enjoy it a little more myself.

I spent the majority of my evenings Tuesday through Friday cleaning and making the homemade lemonade, apple cider, seeding jalapenos etc. so when Saturday rolled around I was less than stressed.  I knew I had stuff to do but I didn't feel rushed at all.  It wasn't until about 3:30 that I knew I was going to be pushing it but I knew if I texted Amber and got her to come over so she could help and Brook could hang with Max we would be all good.  Max woke up from his nap right around 4:00 and I could tell immediately he was not in a great mood.  I turned on the TV for him and left him on the couch to keep getting things ready when he started crying.  I asked him what was wrong and he just kept saying "owie, my tummy".  Amber, Brook, and Kyla got here around that time and he became inconsolable just crying uncontrollably almost to the point of hyperventilating   He wouldn't even let me leave him with Brook and Kyla while I showed Amber what needed to be done in the kitchen.  I literally spend the next 45 minutes holding him, sitting with him, calling his Dr, calling my Mom and sister trying to decide if we needed to just go to the hospital.  I decided it would be best to wait until they got here to see what if they could figure out what was going on and for the nurse to call me back.  Shortly after they got here, the horse did and a couple friends so he wanted to get down to see everyone and the poor kid could barely even walk, took a few steps and would start crying uncontrollably again and want to be held again saying "owie, my tummy".  Well, after talking to the nurse (right when everyone was getting here) and although he wasn't consistent in telling us where exactly it hurt (hes 3 though so not surprising) we all became worried about his appendix.  That's about when I started to cry, feeling like the poor guy was going to miss his own 3rd birthday party with a horse and everything.  Feeling Mimi had things under control with keeping him comfortable I started back in the kitchen getting things ready.  Amber and Kyla luckily had all 100 jalapeno halves stuffed and baking but I still had 45 cupcakes to ice, drinks to put out, snacks to put out, etc.  About that time I noticed Max had let Anna pick him up and lead the horse around and posed for pics and began to move around a little bit although very pale looking.  But the more the night went on the better he seemed to feel which was baffling since he spent an hour and a half in pain to the point where he couldn't walk.  And everything kitchen and food wise got done (with help from Amber, Kyla, and Melissa for the beautiful cupcake decorator) but I did spend the whole first hour of the party in the kitchen where I should have been able to get it done beforehand.  Oh well, I should have known, nothing ever goes as planned.  However, it was a wonderful party, I had a blast, and Max had a blast as you will see the pictures below, after an interesting start...

Since then, he ran a low grade fever that night and the next day which finally spiked Monday and broke Tuesday and has still had intermittent stomach pain although not as bad as Saturday.  We have had tests run and still don't really have any answers.  We are still testing a few less severe things out but of course it could always just be a virus.  He is feeling much better.

Why I will not be watching vampire sex

I remember watching "Interview with the Vampire" with my brother around what must have been High School years since I was a frequent tag along with him and his friends.  I never really understood why he let his little sister tag along so much but I am now very grateful of what all the older influences taught me about life, pop culture, and friendship.  I shutter to think of how naive I would be and especially around those years (I was still very naive) without those influences.  But, after watching the movie I remember thinking how cool the whole vampire darkness of the movie was and how sensual it seemed although the movie's plot had nothing to do with that.  Maybe it was Brad Pitt in his younger years that was so sexy, or the idea of sucking someone's neck, or maybe just the whole darkness and mystery of the characters that made me think that but none the less I did.  And I remember thinking later after what a great movie that was there was not more vampire type movies out there for years to come afterwards.  Well, now movie and television is innondated with vampire themed shows and movies some 18 years later.  And I am not planning to partake in any of it.

Some of my friends who are avid "True Blood" watchers were trying to convince me of what an amazing show this was and how I should watch it, especially because I LOVE several of the shows out there now like Breaking Bad, Dexter, Californiacation, Homeland, Shameless, Spartacus and Sons of Anarchy (currently watching) just to name a few.  Well, I actually contemplated maybe I should, especially because the shows on pay channels seem to be much better.  But then I remembered why I was boycotting vampire shows shortly after, around the time one of the Twilight movies was being released (must have been either New Moon or Eclipse).  Well, it was because of the Twilight series in short.  First off, I don't plan on reading or watching what teeny boppers do now a days.  No offense to the teeny boppers but I am grown and don't plan on looking at teenagers (although not in real life) as eye candy.  I personally prefer manly men who are close to my age and on my level (although I am beginning to think I might be on my own level).  I also think that in a lot of these shows the vampires are being over sexualized rather than actually having a plot worth watching.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about the adult content but there has to be something other than that to keep me coming back for more.  I have decided that romance is just not my genre.  I would rather stab myself with a fork most of the time than watch a cheesy romance movie or show.  I also value the shows that are more realistic and incorporate real life and history into them.  If these vampire shows would say incorporate 18th century Eastern Europe and how the vampire supersitition effected their lives it would be more appealing.  For instance "Spartacus" although very sexual gives you a glimpse into what the Roman Empire was like.  And lets be honest, those are some pretty manly men and I like it and vampires are blood sucking pussies.

Anyways, just thought I would share my view on this topic.

A Mother's Pity Party

I felt like I should give other people a chance to join my pity party today.  I have been feeling an overwhelming sense of emotion for the past week over various things and I feel like writing down some of the helpful thoughts will help me get through (at least the ones that are appropriate for everyone's viewing). 

I think its only natural for a mother to think of themselves last when they have other people who need your love, feelings, and attention.  But at what expense does that leave you?  You are the backbone of the family, the one who gets up in the middle of the night for the 3am feedings, nightmares, wet beds, and when they just want mommy.  Your mental wellness is essential for keeping the family going.  Take care of yourself.  Don't be too prideful to ask for help.  Everyone does it in some way, shape, or form.  Be quick to forgive and forget, and don't harbor resentment for your child and anyone else in your life BUT more importantly yourself.  There is no way that is the "right way" except your own way.  Only you know what is best for your child, you are the Mom, not anyone else.  You are allowed mis-steps and mistakes and do not let anyone convince you otherwise as you will find they are not so perfect themselves.  When these things happen, do not dwell, nothing you can do now can change the outcome.  You are allowed to show weakness as it will show your children you are human and how to deal with it.  Do not compare yourself with other people and your problems to theirs.  Everyone is different and none less than the other.  Do not pity yourself and your feelings by saying "it could be worse", this does not make your problems and feelings less serious.  You are NEVER alone when you have people who love and support you.  These people will give you reassurance when you need it.  Only worry about people who worry about you and are worth your feelings.  You cannot please everyone.  Only worry with the things you can control and do not let the things you cannot control you. 

These are just some things I have had to tell myself (with much help and encouragement of others) to get through the yuckiness I am feeling lately.  Thanks to everyone who helped me compile this for your encouraging words. 

Hey you! You want fries with that?! How about a milk shake?

I have heard many of my friends say lately "What has happened to good old customer service" followed by a horrific story at a restaurant or grocery store or clothing store, etc.  Working in the service industry, I feel like I am more hypercritical than I should be when going to any other service based establishment so I definitely can understand where they are coming from when contemplating what has happened to "good old customer service".  The service industry has changed significantly since I even started working my first banking job in 2003.  No one ever seems happy anymore and most positively not happy to see you the customer who is coincidentally the reason they have their service industry job in the first place.  I get so excited when I go to a place where I actually receive above and beyond customer service to the point where I ask them where I can fill out a survey or speak to their boss.  I actually did that to a guy the other day at Dick's Sporting Goods when I was shopping for Max's soccer stuff.  Since Max isn't even 3 yet, he is reasonably small and young compared to the other little soccer players and I had a very hard time finding any items to fit him in the store (granted I only had 4 days notice before he was to play his first game and I waited until the day before) so the first guy I saw walking towards the soccer area I said "Can you please help me?!"  I asked him about the sizes of cleats they had out and shin pads and he told me he would look for me to see if any other shin pads were in the back (I needed XS) if I would go see John in the shoe dept and see if they had any other cleats that would fit him there since there were none his size where the rest of the gear is.  Well he found the shin pads for me but John becomes my super man for the day, not only finding me the smallest size possible in cleats but also cutting the price of the nice Under Armor ones he found in half.  Then since he was giving me the "youth soccer package deal" that comes with the ball and shin pads asked if I had picked those out yet to which I replied "No, but I'm afraid that might be an issue too".  So he walked me over there, got the size 3 soccer ball and then while looking at socks he informs me that might actually be the problem because they don't carry small enough socks for Max.  As I am contemplating what to do I see these socks with built in shin pads and ask him if those are included with the soccer package and he tells me "Well no...but lets just come up here, I think we can make it work."  He then walks me to the cash register and rings me up himself (with the cashier whose drawer it was looking on).  I walked out of there that day as happy as I could be because I had soccer gear for my little boy who was having his very first game the next day and with $80 worth of stuff for $45.  Needless to say I took the survey on the receipt that night. 

Unfortunately, that is not the normal now a days as the service industry has become more driven by greed and sales.  This in turn has caused a more abrasive customer service approach not concentrated on "What can I do for you today?" but "What can you do for me today?"  I remember my first banking job we had continuing education courses (actual sit down classes, not online) that were based on basic communication skills like listening to your customers, effectively communicating with them, and common courtesies.  At the time these classes seemed like a waste of my time and waste of company money because I felt like this was what I thought were common courtesies and this is just how I was brought up to treat people.  So was I wrong?  Or maybe smiling and making eye contact with your patrons were not common everyday courtesies before as I thought they were and now that corporations have cut back on such classes as these no one is learning this anymore?  Now a days most of the classes I have taken are based on "needs based customer sales" which is a great concept when it is actually used as such.  Instead a lot of institutions use these sales based classes in order to push the "flavor of the week".  I actually had a funny experience not too long ago in Walgreens where I was waited on this very slow moving monotoned man in his mid to late 30s in the photo dept.  Well, once I left I realized I forgot to order one of the photos I needed so I had to return except this time he wasn't in the photo department where he worked, he was covering the cashier who went on break.  So he slowly shuffled his feet back to the photo department to meet me where I stood for the second time that day and he said "Can I help you?" in complete monotoned unsmiling fashion and I joked "Yeah, I'm back again.  I forgot to get a print I needed" and gave him my last name again.  He handed it to me then said he would meet me at the register where I got to about 5 full seconds before he did (I'm not an incredibly fast walker).  He scanned my item and totaled it, told me my total, then as I am swiping my card he says again in his wonderful monotoned voice "Oh yeah, I'm supposed to ask you if you want a candy bar, or a magazine I think.  I don't really know, I'm just covering."  I just said "No thanks, I'm good today" with a giggle and barely got through the front door before I just busted out in laughter saying to myself "Did that really just happen?" 

I have now worked for several different institutions, been actively involved with the merging of 3 of them (counting us purchasing another institution) so I feel like I have seen the evolution from small business into corporate business and I have to say personally for me I definitely prefer where I am now with the small hometown bank.  I may get somewhat bored at times (although I'm working on a project now that seems like it will take years to finish) but I love really knowing and building a relationship with all my customers who walk in the door.  I like knowing about their kids and dogs and no good ex husbands and offering them something to drink when they come in (although we both wish it was alcoholic some days).  We have a common saying in those small banks where we know we have the same old stuff every other big bank has but "What sets us apart is our customer service".  And I do get the pleasure of working with a lot of the new faces of the new employees (many of them first time bankers) who come to work with us and have devised a list of proper office etiquette that can be unfortunately not common practices now a days like not eating or chewing gum in front of customers, always end personal phone calls or any other projects not involving customers when a customer walks in, thanking the customer for their business, taking ownership of customer problems, and never making negative comments to customers to name a few. 

The service industry and dealing with people on a daily basis is not for everyone but companies need to better equip their employees of common customer courtesies and proper office etiquette.  I also want to state that I am not overlooking customer over entitlement as a problem sometimes.  But by providing customers with better customer service it seems like it would help weed out the proper entitlement from over entitlement felt by customers.  And furthermore, it seems like you would see an increase in sales with an increase in good customer service in order to pacify the need for development and growth within these companies as I will definitely be spending more money at Dick's Sporting Goods when I have a need to.  So how do we go back to this?

Big shout out to my co-workers on this one.  We feed off of each other's personalities and good customer service skills.  Without you, I would probably be much less pleasant.  You have also seen me at my worst and at my best and you still stick by me.  You are like family and really we have to be since we see each other 1/3 of all the time in a week.