Thoughts, not resolutions, for the New Year

In my year end closing as I sit here drinking champagne by myself in my living room after a perfect date with my sweet little boy and closest friends then a quick visit with my favorite girls (Mom and Lindz) and a low key celebration, instead of posting meaningless resolutions for the new year I have decided to post important life lessons I have learned this year.  This year has been one of dramatic changes, more ups and downs than any one year in my entire 30 year life.  But it has also given me a better understanding of myself and my needs as well as my child's needs.  There is still work and learning to be done and although I'm pretty sure there will always be, 2012 has given my life new clarity I thought I would share. 

Its okay to feel lonely when you are alone. 

You have to let go of your perception of how you thought your life would be in order to live the life that's meant for you.

It takes a village to raise a child.  Okay, maybe not a village but at least a good group of family and friends.

Your family and friends are your Achilles heel.  They keep you standing when you don't think its possible anymore. 

Your mind is your best friend and worst enemy but only if you let it be.

Cooking and cleaning releases endorphins and stress (maybe cooking more than cleaning in my case but both feel pretty darn good).

When you need reassurance that how you are feeling is just given the situation, do a little role playing (if not with a friend, just in your head).  When you hear it in come out of someone else's mouth you will probably find what you are feeling doesn't sound so off base.

There is nothing wrong with needing help in whatever way from your loved ones.  Everyone does it in some way, shape, or form in their lifetime. 

It can be difficult for someone who is such a giver to be a taker but its necessary from time to time and more so in a time of need.

A mother's wrath is 100 times worse than any normal woman scorned.

Your mental health should be at the top of your list of priorities.  Never sacrifice that for another person.

Children are way smarter (and sometimes more of a smart ass) than we ever give them credit for.  They feel, see, and hear more than any adult.

You don't have to finish everything you want to or think you should in one day.  There is always tomorrow.

Never put anything you think you have to do above doing things with your child.  Its funny the things they remember as being a fun or good time.

Lastly, I will share one that I learned today.  Grandmothers aren't meant for discipline or structure, they are meant for giving a love and legacy that no one else can give.  There is nothing that is going to change that so I just have to get over it.  I'm sure I will never fully understand what this means until I have a grandchild of my own but I do know what that love and legacy meant to me from my grandmothers. 

I'm happy to be celebrating the end of one year and the beginning of another.  2013 has a lot of good in store for Max and myself and fortunately I have already seen a small glimpse into some of the changes to come.  Cheers to more learning and life lessons!

Elf on the Shelf Troubles

"What have I gotten myself into?" was what I kept repeating to myself last night.  I know it looks like I am just another Elf on the Shelf mom on the surface but what everyone doesn't know is that Mark and I have reached a crossroads in our relationship.  I'm stuck with him and him with me now.  Once the Elf on the Shelf tradition has started there is no turning back.  So after a couple of cocktails with my favorite girl last night I proceeded to spew choice words toward Mark and his continued shenanigans in the house...every fucking night!  Can a Mom get a break for a night?  Apparently not.

I am definitely a lazy Elf on the Shelf mom in he sense that if it takes longer than 5 minutes to complete, I'm not going to do it, with the exception of the Christmas countdown chain craft we did (and I use we loosely because Mark is lazier than I am) that took about 15 minutes while I was watching my show on TV.

When Max goes to bed at night that is typically my only time to relax, unwind, and be lazy for the day and Mark really messes up my groove so I apparently hold a lot of resentment towards him.  This all came out last night in text message with my Mom when I was ready to go to bed and realized I still had to make this Elf on the Shelf thing happen.  9:54pm, Me:  "God damn Mark, I'm sick of this fucking elf."  9:56pm Mom:  "Lol, I'm laughing so hard...I know I thought Santa shit was bad to do one night, this is a whole fucking month."  One of my bright less than 5 minute ideas for Mark last night was to make him a tire swing hanging from my candle chandelier but what I hadn't banked on is how difficult it is to actually hang a tire swing from just a string and get it leveled enough to where he can swing and it doesn't tip over.  That's apparently why normal tire swings have an apparatus with hooks that anchor into 3 or 4 sides of the swing.  So after approximately 9 minutes of struggling, 10:05pm, Me:  "Didn't know this involved knowing logistics to set him up in a tire swing or make fucking paper airplanes" (which I have learned I have no clue how to do so apparently I am going to have to get one of my guy friends to help out there one night).  But after all the knocking over candles and all the things on the table below which sounded like Mark was banging shit together and actually making toys for Santa in our own living room, I finally got his tire swing situated and it turned out very cute.

And then of course there are the days where I just am so exhausted or my mind is on other things that I forget.  That normally involves a rushed and panicked moving shit around in the morning while Max is still sleeping or while he is not paying attention in another room.  Mark even hid behind my back for a while one morning while I was trying to maneuver Max looking for him and not seeing I hadn't done my part from the night before so all I could come up with without him seeing me was that he had addressed our Christmas cards that needed to go to the mailbox. 

I think I played it off pretty well and even my mom said to me, wow, I didn't know Mark actually did nice deeds.  Yeah Mom, hes naughty and nice.  Even earlier this week I had it all planned that Mark was going to get stickered and literally just forgot to do it before I went to bed.  Luckily I woke up before Max did that morning and I was able to sneak out and make it happen.

So, as you can see Mark and I have a love/hate relationship but I have to learn to accept the fact that he's here to stay as well as he has to learn to accept the fact that I am a lazy Elf of the Shelf mom.  I'm sure once the 24th rolls around and he has to go back to the North Pole until next holiday season we will have a few too many drinks together as we both will deserve it at that point.  Hell, I might even miss the little guy.