Rights and wrongs of parenting

How do you know when you are doing the right thing as a parent? 

Unfortunately there is no answer to that question. 

The "right thing" is a subject concept in general based on any given individuals opinion of what is right and wrong but then add the variable of how every child is different in their personalities and preferences, what works for one may not work for another.  There is no handbook or given rules and guidelines for parents so most of the time we literally have nothing to go on.  I was actually very surprised after I had Max and the hospital just lets you take them home after 24 hours with just a page or so of instructions.  Then his Pediatrician is so laid back when I would ask him questions he was more like a therapist who would give you pros and cons of both ends of the spectrum options and never give a straight answer as to which works better.  Then seeing I was exasperated and confused, I would get the "you are doing just fine Mom" speech.  But it makes sense why he does that.  Max was healthy and happy so at this point all he is doing is reassuring me I am doing a good job.  And we as parents need that constant reassurance.  We literally have no idea what we are doing a lot of time and are constantly scrutinizing and questioning what we should be doing and if we are doing the right thing.  As long as your child is not being abused or neglected in any way what does it matter if you do time out or spankings, breast feed or formula feed, send them to daycare or don't send them to daycare, etc?  We worry too much about what other people are doing and what works for them.  Now, I'm not saying if you need advise on anything you shouldn't ask or take your friend's advice b/c hey I remember how hard it was to potty train and we took lots of advice and tried lots of things but don't judge another parent because your method didn't work for them or they decided something else would be better suited.  Don't judge me.  Yes, I let my child have a pacifier until a little bit after 2 years old, we tried to give it up sooner and it made everyone miserable so we decided to wait until he was old enough to reason with and had no issues giving it up then.  It worked for us.  And likewise, because I had no issues with Max staying in his bed or room at night (from the age of 6 weeks on) when I hear of someone saying their child sleeps with them I go "whoa" inside but that child is not my child and may have different sleep habits and needs from my child so who am I to judge? 

When another person tells me what a great job I am doing with Max or comments on how smart he is or well adjusted I really feel like I have done my job as a parent.  So am I doing the right thing for my child?  I think so.  But my rights and wrongs may differ from yours.  So if I am doing something you don't agree with, it would be best to keep your mouth shut and concentrate on something good I am doing.  It will make both of us feel better in the long run. 

"This job is definitely the hardest job I have ever had but also the most rewarding." 

Manti Te'o's real girlfriend Ronaiah Tuiasosopo

If you are anything like me you quickly tire of an over played, over dramatic news story that really has no meaning except to feed our selfish need of celebrity drama and weirdos (i.e. Honey Boo Boo).  Well the Manti Te'o fake girlfriend story is no exception.  We could easily debate over how someone could or shouldn't be duped by someone over an Internet romance that he did or shouldn't have called a relationship  or that Ronaiah Tuiasosopo's real cousin did or didn't participate in helping with being the voice of the prank but I just don't care anymore.  At this point the kid has suffered enough public humiliation that will last throughout his lifetime.  However, I feel that the perpetrator behind the whole hoax should get a closer look.  Why would one Ronaiah Tuisosopo make up this whole elaborate scheme?

Most of the media reports state that this was just a mean prank that went too far and that Ronaiah Tuiasosopo just was a troubled individual who had perpetrated such pranks before.  But, I think there is probably more to this "troubled individual" than what has been reported by the media.  Even if it was just a prank, why was it kept going so long?  Wouldn't it be more conceivable that someone who is divulging such personal details of their life (by both parties) that maybe Tuiasosopo felt romantic feelings for Te'o?  If it was a prank, there is no way he wouldn't have grown tired of being another person for so long unless what he was saying about his feelings and some details of his life were true and there was some sort of emotional connection that was believed to be between them.  And if that was the case and Tuiasosopo had romantic feelings for Te'o, there have been no reports of him being openly gay that I have seen so he wouldn't have wanted his true identity to be known, especially in an Internet love affair with a heterosexual man.  Because in his eyes, if Te'o had found out he was really not who he said he was in Lennay Kekua, there is no way he would want to talk to him or be with him not only because he was male but for having perpetrated this whole elaborate hoax.  And furthermore, not only are feelings being involved, an obvious obsession with Manti Te'o developed through their "relationship".  Obsession is defined as "compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion".  Tuiasosopo's obsession with Te'o and their "relationship"
would have been what led him to keep the hoax going for so long.  Then, in a tragic twist, at some point Tuiasosopo must have felt there was no way out of the predicament he was in and decided to "end" Lennay Kekua's life.  Had the truth been too much to bear at that point and he became overwhelmed with guilt or had he found another obsession and decided it was time to move on?  Either way, the details of this story still don't make any sense to me to be just a prank that went too far. 

I actually had started writing this blog post January 24th like a frequently do, sometimes I won't finish and delete the posts, sometimes I will save and go back at a later date due to too much going on or when I find that words aren't coming to me as easy as they normally do in my blog posts but I see now where it has been leaked from Tuiasosopo's interview with Dr. Phil that he admits he fell in love with Te'o.