I'm not going to talk about the Chick-Fil-A debacle (maybe just one little comment that ties in later) here because frankly myself and many Americans are just tired of hearing it no matter what side you are on. However, it does bring up some very important topics that I have been meaning to talk about for some time and have even had the title to this blog post saved for about 3 weeks trying to think of exactly how I want to put this together.
I'm lucky enough to have some amazing people close to me who are gay who have made an impact on my life. Whether it be emotional or monetary help when needed at various tough times in my life, tying a pretty ribbon around bouquets at our wedding (even though we are divorced, still a memorable moment), or "book club" meetings where I have laughed until my sides hurt, these people I feel are an integral part of who and where I am today. So much so in fact, I feel sorry for the people who don't have people like them in their lives. I am also lucky enough to have seen one of those people grow up from adolescence to better understand their struggles in being who they are. I still remember the discussion my brother and I had on his bed when he told me although I don't remember exactly what age I was (high school-ish). I remember being surprised although looking back that was pretty naive of me. I mean, he was your typical boy growing up (and I was your typical tom boy) but there were some things that I could have picked up on. I also remember immediately knowing despite my ignorance and youth that it didn't matter to me; He was still who he was and I still loved him just as well. I actually felt closer to him for him having the confidence to talk to me about it since he was not "out".
Living with my gay brother and reflecting back at how he was during his entire upbringing made me realize he didn't just wake up the morning he told me he was gay and decide he was going to be gay, he was all along and knew much much earlier before he decided to tell me. And so did my mom. And he is lucky enough to have a support system who loves him for who he is whereas some of the other gay people I know do not. Whether it be a father who thinks he is less of a man because his son is gay or a mother who thinks its a sin in the eyes of the Christian church, your parenting skills do not reflect whether or not your son or daughter is gay. Obviously, they are going to have an easier time coming out to a parent who is more accepting but I can't imagine what a parent is thinking loving their own child, own flesh and blood, any less because of their sexual preference (actually don't even like the word "preference" here). And also to quote Melissa from her Facebook today who is a devout Christian "I am super (frequently used Melissa word) sad that my fellow Jesus lovers think its ok to stand up for so much hate. Jesus loved EVERYONE...don't forget that." Now I am very religiously ignorant so I may be wrong but I thought we also were not supposed to judge anyone, that was to be left up to God. So for the Christians in support of Chick-Fil-A in the debate, aren't you sinning by grouping all of these people together in judgement for their "sin"? Although I think its used as a cover in some people's cases, I understand freedom of speech and recognize that as a valid argument and it being an extreme importance in our culture but what happened to our consciousness of other's people's feelings too? Can you imagine growing up in constant fear of judgement for being who you are?
Furthermore, how would you like someone dictating what rights we have based on any difference from what is considered normal? Nope, you can't get a drivers license because you have black hair or you cannot vote if you are under 130lbs. Which brings me into the ultimate topic of gay marriage. Marriage is defined as "(also called matrimony or wedlock) a social union or legal contract between people called spouses that creates kinship. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but is usually an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Such a union is often formalized via a wedding ceremony." Of course then it goes onto to specify cultural beliefs. I personally see straight marriage as a cultural belief along with arranged marriages. We are also taking away the humans rights in arranged marriage yet this is okay in America? I'm not sure how this makes any sense. I know a gay couple who got married in and live in another state who have been together (and married) for eight years or so and are still going strong (and the best looking gay couple I have ever seen). And here I am a straight divorced person. Those pretty boys put me to shame! It just makes no sense to me how we want to all be equals...but only if you aren't gay. They still put their pants on one leg at a time, they work normal jobs, pay taxes, live in houses, drive cars, etc, etc.
I feel sad that we have reverted back to the 60's (in some cases before then) as far as equal human rights go. I just hope in the near future we realize how gay people are just like everyone else in this country and deserve to be treated so. No one deserves to get their feelings hurt or be ashamed of who they are.
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