Given the amount of time we spend together on a normal basis and especially lately with being sick, Max has become my little hip attachment. Much like other Moms I know, I can't even get 2 minutes of privacy to go to the bathroom anymore without hearing frantic foot steps running down the hallway yelling "Momma, where are you?" But, being an only child to a single parent, there is a LOT involved in keeping him entertained and happy at 3 years old. I sometimes wonder if it would be easier if I had another one to keep him company. Then I wonder if all of my hair would be grey if that was the case. I joke all the time about how much easier it was when he was younger to keep him out of trouble and away from things he shouldn't do or touch and that these new mothers who have a newly mobile baby have no idea what lies ahead in toddlerhood much as I didn't at that time. I was talking to my mom through text message last night and she commented on how much fun we have together and how she can't take all the blame for spoiling him rotten after a night of solely being about him, building a fire for a "campfire", swinging, jumping on the trampoline, going to get ice cream since he has been talking about it for days even with the cold weather, and coloring. I told her as much fun as we have together we fight just as much. His brain has expanded so much in about a year's time but along with that his ability to reason and call me on my bull shit. I dread the day he starts reading and realizes the sign I tell him that says "no whining allowed" actually says "flammable, do not set on fire". There isn't a day that goes by anymore and I don't openly say "Oh man, I am in trouble". And I was the good quiet child growing up so no one can really say I am paying for my raising. I have compiled a few good Maxisms as of late I wanted to share.
You may not agree with my approach to his smart mouth but it works for us. Reasoning after the fact has become our go to tactic on how we deal with problems since reasoning during can be difficult and frustrating for a toddler. Unless I think it requires a quick hand to the backside. Regardless I always reason why he can't do something and why it is wrong.
Max has become a master story teller. And I'm talking about the kind of story that you tell around a campfire (which we frequently do). I am a classic listener and part of being a good listener is to engage and ask questions which I do in seminars or classes. Much to my dismay, no one has explained advanced communication skills to Max yet. I got in trouble the other day for asking him a question about what the the little pig's house was made of when he was telling the big bad wolf story. He said "You need to listen to me. You are not listening". I can truly say he has heard that a few hundred times so what did I expect?
Although this doesn't happen often, the second type of story telling he has engaged in recently is the lying/omitting important information. He got a spider stamp for Halloween that he was so excited about and asked me if he could open it and stamp something while I was cooking dinner one night. I said "Sure babe (my pet name for him), but you can only stamp on this piece of paper, nothing else, do you hear me?" He said, "Yes Mommy". I said, "Where do you stamp?" and he said, "The piece of paper." Get it, got it, good. About 5 minutes goes by and I go back in his playroom and check on him and there are green spiders all over his face. This is the point where I should have taken video and pictures for blackmail but I was laughing to hard inside to think clearly, just was able to plot my next move. I said, "Max, did you stamp anywhere other than that piece of paper?" He said, "No". I said, "You are sure you didn't stamp anywhere else?" He said "I didn't". I waited a minute and said "I'm going to ask you one more time, did you stamp anywhere else?" He said "No Mommy!" with an attitude. I said "Okay, come here for a minute. I want you to see something in the mirror" and pulled up his stool in front of the bathroom mirror to which he came slowly while asking "What is it?" He stepped up on it and immediately his face dropped like oh shit, I'm caught! He said, "I have green spiders on my face! Get it off!" (with panic) to which I busted out laughing and then helped him wash them off both of us laughing. We had a little discussion about lying later in the evening but he by no means got in trouble, I was laughing too hard.
Some of his stories get a little lengthy and far fetched and I sometimes have a tendency to let my mind wander and not listen as much especially when I have other things on my mind. Well, yesterday we were on our way home and he's telling me this whole analysis of what happened to his shoes (a few spots and scuffs on them) and my mind starts to drift elsewhere. We get home and I'm getting him out of the car and he's still talking about it and I said "Hmm...that's a big scuff mark on top there, do you drag your feet when you walk?" and he said "Mommy, that is NOT the problem. The problem is that I have spots and dirt around my shoes and on the bottom." (with a teenage attitude). My jaw just dropped. I have to say there are quite a few moments where he just catches me off guard and I am at a loss for words.
Max has become a really good staller mainly when I am getting him dressed in the morning and he "just wants to stay home". He would do anything to not get caught by me and slither out of my arms (sometimes going limp) including saying he "needs to go potty, needs something to drink, wants to eat his breakfast, needs to check the mail, needs to get a rock for his rock collection (in my car I might add)" all while whining and throwing a fit. One morning I was getting him dressed much to his dismay and he looks up at me half being mean and half being funny (smile on his face) and says "I just don't want to look at your face anymore." while laughing. My normal first reaction when he says something completely off the wall is "Did you really just say that?" Then my second natural reaction learning it was what he said was holy shit, that was actually funny followed by laughter along with him. Then of course my third reaction was a long discussion on the way to school about how things like that can hurt people's feelings. Still no freakin clue where he got that one.
A few nights ago I was letting him watch "just one more Scooby Doo" which always turns into an argument about how I should let him watch "just one more" after that to which he never wins. Well, after his show ended and he knew it was bed time, being the master staller that he is, he decided to engage me as to why he shouldn't have to go to bed. After a few moot points that I shrug off, he looks at me with those pretty blue eyes and says, "But Mommy, it just takes a really long long time to wake up when I go to sleep". Of course, at a loss for words again I go blank thinking man, this is so true, he will be asleep 9 hours or so which is a long long time for a little kid. I started feeling sympathy until I realized that was exactly what he was trying to do and I was being outsmarted by a 3 year old and finally responded, "Yes son, that is the point. Let's go".
It is amazing to see this little thing that was nothing but spit up, poop, and crying turn into a reasoning, smart ass human in his short three years. All I can say is I have my work cut out for me with this one. And although we get frustrated with each other at times, its the bond that we make in these years that makes for an everlasting love for years to come. He may be a Momma's boy but that's not a bad thing, just ask your Mom.
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