Women are from Pluto?! Men are from Uranus?!

I thought the use of Pluto here since its not really a planet and Uranus, for obvious reasons, would be the best fit in this title.

There have been several studies lately relating to the brain function of men and women.  It has now been said that women have a more white matter and think more with their whole brains better than men due to the extended network of brain processors the white matter provides and men have more grey matter, 4% more brain cells, and think more with their left sides of their brains. No wonder we tend to over analyze everything and men can't multi-task.  Women also have a deeper limbic system in the brain than men which controls feelings and emotions.  This is also why men aren't as "in touch" with their feelings as women.  See guys, you really do have an excuse.  It has also been thought that men must have a larger section of the brain that produced more aggression than women but it has been discovered that women are equal in that aspect but assert their aggression in language with the better language skills from all that white matter.  So this is why men tend to be more physically aggressive (which we won't complain about in the bedroom right ladies?) and women have a tendency to say cutting word like "You are selfish!" when arguing.  But, this is not supposed to be a science lesson, more like satirical stereotyping.

Let me start by saying, this does not at all reflect anyone other than what I have experienced myself.  Don't get your panties in a wad if you feel like this is about you, find comfort that I'm not using your name and if you take offense to this and are that "self-centered" to think it is all about you we may need to re-evaluate our friendship anyways.  Also, I tried to make this as even as possible.

Women and men, its okay to agree to disagree to end an argument.  This by no means admits defeat on either side and (women) this does not mean that your man is necessarily mad.

Women, if your man says after an argument everything is fine, let it go, do not bring it up again.  Go about your normal life, sleep in your normal place with your arm around his chest.

Women, if your man says nothing is wrong then nothing is wrong.  Stop asking.  Are you sure nothing is wrong?  Well, now it is because you won't shut up asking me.

Men, if you are angry about something that was not done correctly or to your standards say your peace and be done with it.  Feel free to laugh about your woman accidentally making your underwear pink in the laundry because after its done there is nothing she can do about it and your yelling does not change that.  I'm sure she has learned her lesson and will be happy to buy you more.

Women, just because your man doesn't want to hold your hand or kiss you in public does not mean he loves you any less.  He just doesn't have that brain functionality as I explained earlier and is afraid to get his man card revoked.

Women and men, do not compare your significant other or relationship to anyone else's.  Its annoying.  That's great your girlfriend's husband brings home flowers once a week for his wife.  Flowers die.  And I appreciate that your best friend's wife packs his lunch and has dinner ready for him every night when he gets home.  I would love to do that for you but cooking and doing house chores won't necessarily pay the bills.

Women, men are not mind readers.  In fact, they are completely opposite.  Sometimes you even have to point out the obvious.  I cannot emphasize this enough.  Your man doesn't know you need help doing the dishes or running the kids somewhere without you telling them and even then you might have to tell them exactly where to put the dishes and exactly where the soccer field is because like I said, sometimes you have to point out the obvious.  Which brings me to...

Men, before going straight to the asking where something is or goes, use common sense.  In the time it takes you to come ask me and me to tell you the extra diapers are in the closet or the baby lotion is in the far left basket on the top shelf of the changing table you probably could have found it yourself.

Women, if you are going to cry about dumb things like movies or breaking a nail don't expect your man to make you feel better.  Furthermore, emotions should try to be contained during arguments as men find this annoying.  Its not a good weapon and doesn't work because they suck at dealing with women who are emotional.

Men, when we are telling you about a problem with our family or at work, etc we probably just want you to listen.  If we specifically ask for your opinion, you might want to check and make sure we really want your opinion then go ahead and give it to us.  But that is the only occasion where we want your opinion on what to do, otherwise, just listen and look sympathetic.  You don't have to fix everything you come in contact with.

Women, we know we talk a lot.  A really lot!  Don't expect men to listen to everything you say as long as they act like they are.  Just the important things, and make sure to outline that it is important and keep it simple.  And remember what I said about men only using one side of their brain and not being good at multi-tasking?  Well, I suggest if its important you not tell him while hes doing anything else (especially watching TV).

Men, do not expect women to be as logical as you are.  That's why you are a left brain thinker.  The reason being is best summarized in this article.  "It can only compare like things quantitatively and then apply pre-established rules to produce a result or decision. It is a powerful tool in its sphere, but its sphere is limited and completely uncreative."  There are two key components you see here that us women do not do, 1.  rules, 2.  uncreative (Why do you think Pintrest is so popular?).

Men, it only takes 2 minutes after you groom yourself and get rid of all the hair and nail clippings, etc on the bathroom counter.  Just remember, we could start leaving tampons all over (hopefully no one I know already does that).

Men, you are not dying when you are sick.  Remember when I had the same virus and still got up, got the kids to school, got the kids to soccer, got dinner ready, etc.  If you are going to whine and complain, just stay in bed and don't bother us until you are better.

Men, if you are going to fart on me just remember me doing it to you is fair game.  Its better than the alternative (see South Park season 13 episode 4).

Women, if you say you are "fine", men take it literally.  If you are not "fine" say so then and resolve the problem before it escalates.  As stated above, men are not mind readers and a lot of times the things we see as obvious are not to them and never will be no matter how many times we pout and huff and puff around the house. 

Men, do not use women for the sole blame for your not getting any.  More often, you are too tired, stressed, or possibly having physical issues that we care not to embarrass you about.  Subsequently...

Women, do not use sex as a weapon.  If you are abstaining, do not expect your man to abstain as well from the use of porn, looking a little too hard at the neighbor walking to get the paper in her sexy nightgown, talking a little too long with the mail lady with the big rack, or for more serious offenders finding it elsewhere. 

Women, its not a "compromise" if you are not doing any of the compromising. We tend to over use this word or use it when its not valid.  Furthermore, there are some things that will never been compromised and we just have to learn to accept that.

Men, be up front and honest about your feelings towards any particular situation.  It's okay to sometimes treat your girlfriend's feelings like she is fragile but not when it comes at the extent of your beliefs and happiness.  In other words, in these situations find a happy medium between being an asshole and a pussy.  If you don't want to take professional pictures in matching Christmas sweaters for you and the dogs then speak up. 

Women, you have the common misconception that we can change men.  Men are by no means exempt from this as well as they can try to change women too (i.e. turn a hoe into a housewife).  If you cannot learn to live with the imperfections and idiosyncrasies of the other person, you need to go ahead and move on to the next. 

And most importantly, women and men, let the past be just that.  Your past relationships, arguments, and problems should never have anything to do with your present and future with your significant other.  This is probably the #1 ruiner of relationships.  Every relationship molds you into what you do and don't want in your next relationship but that by no means is a reason to stalk your current boyfriend because your past one cheated on you.  Or any time there is an argument bringing up how your girlfriend embarrassed you while she was drunk and picked a fight with you at a party.  Learn to accept them for who they are or what they/or exes may have done and move on from these things or move on from the relationship. 

I feel like I have become very wise in my years of relationships and hope I continue to gain knowledge of how men and women's minds work.  We are definitely very different creatures, aliens from different planets who converge in the name of companionship and the hope to find someone to drive you crazy for the rest of your life. 

Not the blue goal?

I have recently become a soccer mom (although not sure if I really fit the soccer mom persona) to a not even 3 year old yet and I tell you what, it is the absolute cutest darn thing I have ever seen.  Pure chaos and bundles of energy running in every direction but the right one, balls going in the wrong goal, tripping over their own feet, all while the coaches and parents are yelling directions.  I have also learned that this can be a little much for a little guy (or girl) to handle as Max had the most tale telling pouty look on his face from the moment we stepped onto the field to the time we left that day. 

For a kid who always rolls with the punches, even traveled 12 straight hours in one day the week before with little protest, I have to say I was somewhat shocked and embarrassed.  Of course as a parent you think "what am I doing wrong?" when your child acts bratty and whiny and it can be hard to train yourself how to not make it a reflection of what you are doing or have done and more of finding out what is going on in that little mind of theirs.  But even for such a verbal little fellow who frequently talks about feelings with me when I asked him what his problem was (may have been through gritted teeth) he couldn't say anything at all.  It was all overwhelming.  We literally had just found out 4 days earlier that he was going to get to play, had his first practice one day later and then his first game.  He had just gotten his new gear including shiny new soccer ball that afternoon before and wait a minute, another kid kicked my ball during warm ups?  Kid, you are pushing your luck, that ball has my name on it.  "M-A-X marks the spot" as he says.  And everyone else has these pretty green shirts they are wearing.  And then what's the deal with this whole different group of kids wearing different color shirts?  Who the hell are they and who told them they could kick our ball?  And what happened to having several balls at once (like practice)?  And then as he told me "I want to kick it into the blue goal, not the red one!"  And then the sharing aspect is totally blown out of the water.  You mean to tell me Mom, you have been telling me we have to share all my life and now you can just run up to whomever has the ball and take it from them?  But only after the whistle blows?  But then when the whistle blows it has to be our turn to kick it first?  What if I want to kick it before the whistle blows?  What do you mean I can't do that?  I just want to kick the ball.  "Where is Grayson?  I just want to play with my friend." I told you I wanted to kick it into the blue one, why are you trying to get me to kick it into the red one?  Where is he going with the ball?  And I still haven't gotten to kick the ball.  What do you mean we won?  "I just want to go home!" 

I have to say, the whole 30 or 45 minutes or however long it lasted (I have no idea since I was dealing with cranky pants the whole time) was just no fun.  I would say his total playing time (after much encouragement) was approximately 4 minutes.  I blame myself for a lot of it.  Max does very well when he is told what is going to happen.  That's always the first thing he asks when we get in the car "Where are we going?  What are we going to do?"  Looking back, he probably needed a little bit more detail and insight rather than "to the soccer game".  I feel kind of like a Dora the Explorer episode most of the time when I tell him (on the trip to Colorado for instance) we are going "in Cici's car to the airport, where we ride a shuttle to the airplane we fly in, then a train (tram) to get our luggage, then a bus though the mountains, to Ryan's rental car, which will take us to Aunt Di's rental house" but that way he knew what to expect and when and therefore did fine.  There wasn't much talk about what happens at a soccer game leading up to the soccer game.  I also have since recorded a soccer game on TV which I am hoping I can keep his attention on just for 5 minutes while I explain some things. 

And of course ultimately if he decides he doesn't want to play he doesn't have to but I do think its important for him to try and try lots of different things too.  Organized sports taught me a lot about comradery, ups and downs, "how to overcome adversity", time management, and how important structure is in a young person's life and I would love nothing more than my son to have a better understanding of these things. 

Article: "How to bitch about having a kid"

The only real point of my blog post today is to share this article because I thought it was a hilarious depiction of how not to sound like an asshole while bitching about your child.  I mean lets be honest, every parent has been there one time or another, some weeks, months, or years more than others and its ok and normal to feel this way.  So enjoy.

On a side note, if anyone needs to find me this weekend expect that I will be at home watching football and cooking insane amounts of food while listening to music because thats how I roll during college football season. 

Just another week

Just another week in the life.  I did complete a couple of projects this week although most of my week was spent catching up on sleep and a couple of TV shows I missed via my Olympic hang over.  But it dawned on me today, the first day of school for kids in this district and also a decided at the last minute vacation day for myself that fall was right around the corner. The day started a little bit cooler than recent temperatures, even though it really didn't stay that way.  And I couldn't help despite my laziness most of the day today but be happy and excited.  Fall has easily become my favorite time of year.  Cooler weather, nothing but football to do all day on a Saturday, cooking all the fall foods I love in between games, having friends over or going to friends' houses because every Saturday is a reason to celebrate, I mean, whats not to love?  Anyways, as excited as I was about the impending Summer Olympics this year, I am equally as excited for fall...well, lets be honest, fall football.

Okay, so my projects this week consisted of a printable monogram gift for my boss's birthday that was just printed on good paper from "For Chic Sake" that I absolutely fell in love with and will probably end up doing at least one for myself.

The other project I finished for myself is using a towel rack with curtain rings (spray painted black) for my necklaces.  I had them on hooks in my closet which was functional but there were too many on one hook and this just looks prettier.  

Lastly, I wanted to follow up with a couple other projects I had started but not finished.  One was a button monogram for myself hanging on my closet door and the other was the magnetic board for my makeup that is now completed.  They have both been done for a couple weeks just keep forgetting to update.  

Oreo Cheesecakes and wedding gifts

Wow, what a week last week!  It seemed like every day we had something going on or I was working on some project (one of them too 4 days by itself to complete).  Not to mention with the closing ceremonies of the Olympics this weekend, the past two weeks have been pretty well dedicated to catching up on the day's action when I'm not at work (recorded all of NBC's coverage).  All while trying to keep up with my favorite almost 3 year old and going into work on Saturday.  My first and most important project of the week was working on wedding gifts for Luke and Sherri (fabulous to see them).  Since I am slightly obsessed with Pintrest, I decided on wedding invitation ornaments (invitation of morbidly shredded with a paper shredder and stuffed into a clear glass ornament or in this case 2 and tied with a pretty ribbon instead of clear fishing wire) and wedding date number picture (photo's are taken of the wedding date throughout town and put into a 3 hole frame)...

Thanks to Scott for the 24 picture of a house in Madison photo shopped

Thought I did a good job on the wrapping.  :-)

Warning:  Next segment is NOT gluten free...

Then, my BIG project of the week was a gauntlet challenge by Harley of remaking the new Oreo Dream Cheesecake as made by the Cheesecake Factory for Oreo's 100th birthday.  And since this just came out a few weeks beforehand there were no copycat (semi-homemade) recipes yet.  After reading the reviews on what all the layers consisted of I devised what I thought was a plan.  I also decided to tackle each of the layers separately due to my limited time at night to complete this and so the layers that needed to set could.  Night one consisted of layer one, the chocolate cake bottom (used a regular cake mix, put 1/2 in 9 inch round, made cupcakes later out of the remainder) and layer 2 (cheesecake layer with whole Oreo's inside, used this recipe minus strawberry topping and graham cracker crust).  Now obviously since I was making it at night the second layer was where I had to stop so it could set overnight.  Day 2 consisted of making layer 3 Oreo Mousse (using white chocolate pudding instead of regular chocolate) and spreading it on the cheesecake layer still in the spring form pan.  Its about this time I realize the mousse layer is going to be too thin to spread the topping (chocolate icing) on top so I decide to freeze the mousse/cheesecake layer to make is solid.  Day 3 consisted of putting all the layers together and icing the cheesecake all around with chocolate icing which was challenging at best due somewhat sliding around the mousse layer...

Day 4 was doing chocolate covered Oreo's with a dollop of vanilla icing on top and Oreo's with vanilla icing on top with a chocolate chip then a few hours later lining them around the cake, putting crushed Oreo's in the middle, and sticking chocolate chips around the sides which was somewhat of my own touch on top but looked great...

...for about 30 minutes until the topping which was too heavy for the mousse layer and the icing started sliding down the sides.  Oh well...still tasted good and looked about as close as you can get...

I then got a great surprise for all my hard work and that is the real thing Harley brought back from Nashville...

Cosmetically it looks way better.  If anyone has any suggestions on how to make the mousse layer thicker feel free to let me know.  I think that will solve my problem.  Otherwise, its a keeper...

And I thought my 20s were cool...

My 20s were the time of my life, drinking, partying, staying up late, being carefree.  There is no one to tell you what to do anymore and its nice to be able to let your hair down, make adult decisions after having someone tell you what to do all your life.  Or so I thought...

Now I am only about three months into my 30s but already I feel like its a totally different era for me.  Now, I can't deny the fact that I'm sure my life changing event that happened earlier this year has factored into the way I feel but I feel more at ease with myself than I have ever felt.  Now don't get me wrong, I can still let my hair down and party with the best of them but its less of a priority of who I am now and fewer and farther in between.  I'm sure a lot of that has to do with not really having all the free time that I used to have and being physically exhausted when I do as well.  But I also plan my weekends now based on what activities Max and I are going to do making what (if any) alone time I get an after thought.  He and I are a team and if you get one, you get the other (especially since I'm starting to wonder if there is still an umbilical cord attached somewhere).  And although he is a total hand full at times (example: pulling his pants down and going pee in front of 50 people or so at a river function this weekend.  Sorry people, hes newly potty trained), he is more and more fun and funny every day and is a large source of love and entertainment for me.  Lets be honest, my life would be boring and dull without him. 

Another thing I have noticed about being 30 and other people who are 30 is that they really don't give a shit about what everyone thinks about them anymore.  What you see is what you get.  Now, don't get me wrong, I felt this way before (mainly in my mid and late 20s) but it seems to be more universal and intensified.  Just saying people...don't ask me my opinion if you don't want an honest one because I'm not going to sugar coat it anymore.  And I think in general people in their 30s are better at communicating to you how they feel and valuing your honest feelings over not giving their true feelings because it may not be what you want to hear.  I can think of a few occasions where I have asked a friend recently "Am I being stupid over this (issue)?" Friend: "Yes."  Me: "Okay.  I will stop.", and then I move on without even dwelling or thinking twice about it.     

I feel like you spend so much of your 20s still trying to figure out who you are and what you are doing here and what you like and what you don't.  All of your life experiences mold you into who you are but I think you have a better sense of who that person is by the time you turn 30 and fewer mis-steps.  I did a lot of stupid shit in my teens and twenties that have given me that life experience into knowing what I do and don't want to do in the future.  I definitely believe you can learn more from your mis-steps, than your successful endeavors.   It feels like the more you get to really know and understand yourself, the easier and more fun life gets.  Although I know a lot of people who say things like "I wish I could be young and carefree again and not have to worry about some of my adult problems", seeing my toddler, life can still be challenging and frustrating when you are an adolescent.  Then of course teenage years are just pure hell, trying to assert your independence, being defiant, getting in trouble, being socially awkward, and always worrying about what your peers think.  And your 20s although much better than your teens, you are still trying to find yourself and with a fairly new sense of independence, it can be very challenging and mistakes come easy.  I actually find it ironic now, I cried and/or had a panic attack every year on my birthday in my 20s knowing I was getting older and closer to that 30 mark and this year on my 30th, I threw a party, I didn't shed a tear, didn't panic about anything including getting the party ready, just was nice, tranquil, and relaxing. 

So for whoever came up with the adage "life beings at ___(insert age, hear it with all sorts of different ones)", I really feel like my life, having a clearing understanding of myself, re-begins at 30.

Nothing but love for the gays

I'm not going to talk about the Chick-Fil-A debacle (maybe just one little comment that ties in later) here because frankly myself and many Americans are just tired of hearing it no matter what side you are on.  However, it does bring up some very important topics that I have been meaning to talk about for some time and have even had the title to this blog post saved for about 3 weeks trying to think of exactly how I want to put this together. 


I'm lucky enough to have some amazing people close to me who are gay who have made an impact on my life.  Whether it be emotional or monetary help when needed at various tough times in my life, tying a pretty ribbon around bouquets at our wedding (even though we are divorced, still a memorable moment), or "book club" meetings where I have laughed until my sides hurt, these people I feel are an integral part of who and where I am today.  So much so in fact, I feel sorry for the people who don't have people like them in their lives.  I am also lucky enough to have seen one of those people grow up from adolescence to better understand their struggles in being who they are.  I still remember the discussion my brother and I had on his bed when he told me although I don't remember exactly what age I was (high school-ish).  I remember being surprised although looking back that was pretty naive of me.  I mean, he was your typical boy growing up (and I was your typical tom boy) but there were some things that I could have picked up on.  I also remember immediately knowing despite my ignorance and youth that it didn't matter to me; He was still who he was and I still loved him just as well.  I actually felt closer to him for him having the confidence to talk to me about it since he was not "out". 


Living with my gay brother and reflecting back at how he was during his entire upbringing made me realize he didn't just wake up the morning he told me he was gay and decide he was going to be gay, he was all along and knew much much earlier before he decided to tell me.  And so did my mom.  And he is lucky enough to have a support system who loves him for who he is whereas some of the other gay people I know do not.  Whether it be a father who thinks he is less of a man because his son is gay or a mother who thinks its a sin in the eyes of the Christian church, your parenting skills do not reflect whether or not your son or daughter is gay.  Obviously, they are going to have an easier time coming out to a parent who is more accepting but I can't imagine what a parent is thinking loving their own child, own flesh and blood, any less because of their sexual preference (actually don't even like the word "preference" here).  And also to quote Melissa from her Facebook today who is a devout Christian "I am super (frequently used Melissa word) sad that my fellow Jesus lovers think its ok to stand up for so much hate.  Jesus loved EVERYONE...don't forget that."  Now I am very religiously ignorant so I may be wrong but I thought we also were not supposed to judge anyone, that was to be left up to God.  So for the Christians in support of Chick-Fil-A in the debate, aren't you sinning by grouping all of these people together in judgement for their "sin"?  Although I think its used as a cover in some people's cases, I understand freedom of speech and recognize that as a valid argument and it being an extreme importance in our culture but what happened to our consciousness of other's people's feelings too?  Can you imagine growing up in constant fear of judgement for being who you are?


Furthermore, how would you like someone dictating what rights we have based on any difference from what is considered normal?  Nope, you can't get a drivers license because you have black hair or you cannot vote if you are under 130lbs.  Which brings me into the ultimate topic of gay marriage.  Marriage is defined as "(also called matrimony or wedlock) a social union or legal contract between people called spouses that creates kinship. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but is usually an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Such a union is often formalized via a wedding ceremony."  Of course then it goes onto to specify cultural beliefs.  I personally see straight marriage as a cultural belief along with arranged marriages.  We are also taking away the humans rights in arranged marriage yet this is okay in America?  I'm not sure how this makes any sense.  I know a gay couple who got married in and live in another state who have been together (and married) for eight years or so and are still going strong (and the best looking gay couple I have ever seen).  And here I am a straight divorced person.  Those pretty boys put me to shame!  It just makes no sense to me how we want to all be equals...but only if you aren't gay.  They still put their pants on one leg at a time, they work normal jobs, pay taxes, live in houses, drive cars, etc, etc. 


I feel sad that we have reverted back to the 60's (in some cases before then) as far as equal human rights go.  I just hope in the near future we realize how gay people are just like everyone else in this country and deserve to be treated so.  No one deserves to get their feelings hurt or be ashamed of who they are.